The Gift of Hospitality
The initial thought of hosting an event brings a thrill to me. My mind starts running with where we will eat; outside, inside, dining room, kitchen.
What plates, silverware, glasses, napkins, table cloth could be used. What food can I serve that will be easy to prepare, tasty, and have a beautiful presentation. Oh, and food that can be balanced to be easy on the wallet unless it’s a super special occasion.
Next, how can I make the invitation somewhat special and or creative as well as warmly presented.
Since I love to shop I also try to think of something I might pick up from HomeGoods, Ballard’s Outlet, Pottery Barn that would add to my hosting accessories and compliment the event.
Just thinking about the occasion gets that delighted feeling going that I feel when my creative juices are flowing.
Now let’s fast forward to say maybe 3 days before the event. My mind starts to ponder on the to do list and how much I have to do and how far my visions of grandeur are from what I am actually going to be able to pull off. Thoughts of, why oh why did I invite people over? I’ve got to clean, I mean really deep clean, (not a favorite thing to do). Why did I think I would have tons of extra time to shop, cook, decorate the table; didn’t I know I would be doing(_____, whatever) this week too.
Have you ever been in this same situation? Sounded good when I first contemplated hosting and now I can’t seem to figure out how to pull it off without extraordinary effort and exhaustion.
Here is my problem, I always think of hosting as a way to impress others with an extraordinary display and impressive food. How often I forget that the event is not all about me. The truth is the event should be all about the people I am hosting, not about me at all. Hosting should be about making people feel comfortable, thought of, important and loved! So here are a few thoughts to make hosting less about the hostess and more about welcoming the guest and making them feel important to you.
Start the contemplating about the event or the stay at your home by focusing on what would make your guest feel comfortable, welcome, included and special rather than how it can all focus on your skills and presentation.
My father is one example that comes to mind. Growing up extremely poor without a mom in the home. Any appearance of extravagance made him feel uncomfortable. The key to his enjoyment of the time would be to keep it simple and comfortable. For example, no extra forks or choices to make that would make it appear that you are ‘ doing it wrong’ because you don’t know all the rules.
Make a a schedule and pace your duties out equally over the time before the event. Waiting til the last minute only breeds frustration.
As you get ready keep your guest in your prayers rather than thinking about how things can reflect on you. Ask God to show you what might best serve them at this time in their lives. How and what you could prepare to welcome them and serve them. How you can roll with whatever happens with a smile.
If you don’t get it all done perfectly as you had in mind, don’t start making excuses. If it’s all about your guest, try not to apologize that the base boards didn’t get cleaned and the food isn’t just right. Sharing how uncomfortable you are and how you didn’t get something cleaned or perfectly done is actually focusing on you and letting them know the effort was too much. Preparing was not enjoyable for you and you may wish they had not have come.
Recently a friend told me that she could not have me over because she did not have beautiful plates like mine and just couldn’t get all the food cooked like I had done. Honestly, I would love hot dogs on paper plates just to hang out at her home and visit with her.
So the next time you plan on hosting, start with thoughts of your guest and how to make them feel welcome and loved. Hosting is a gift you give to others.